EMHE #4 – A Husband’s Relationship to his Wife

Extreme Makeover Home EditionA Husband’s Relationship to his WifeMessage #4


– This morning we looked at the 3rd message in the series “Extreme Makeover Home Edition” A Godly Marriage.  In the passage we saw that a marriage that is healthy and honoring to God is characterized first and foremost by: submission to God.  A marriage will be very unstable and unhealthy is both husband and wife are not submitted to God, if a wife is not willing to submit to her husband as the church submits to Jesus, and if a husband is not willing to love his wife as Christ loved the church.  We can only do this with God’s help.  But remember submission to God is the first step.

– Tonight we are going to look at the 4th message in the series “Extreme Makeover Home Edition” A Husband’s Relationship to his Wife.  We are going to focus on a few passages that discuss a husband’s role in the marital relationship.

 [Colossians 3:18-19]1) Spiritual leader            – An example of Christ and an example of spiritual growth

* A husband is to be the spiritual example of Christ-likeness, the example of spiritual growth –> reading his Bible, praying, faithful in church attendance, serving in ministry

* A husband is to be loving, caring, and respectful toward his wife and kids –> when he does this it will not be as difficult for a man’s wife to submit to his spiritual authority and respect him2) Loving toward his wife

            – Not being harsh with her

* Husbands are not supposed to be harsh with their wives, women are usually more sensitive emotionally and harsh treatment tends to affect them more negatively

* Genesis and Ephesians say that a husband and wife are one flesh – a husband shouldn’t treat his wife badly/harshly, she is a part of him

* Christians aren’t supposed to be harsh with anyone, but God lets husbands know specifically/emphatically that they are not to treat their wives harshly

 [Ephesians 5:28-30, 33]1) Loving his wife as his own body

            – Providing for her – financially/physically, sexually, emotionally/relationally

* Husbands are to love their wives in the same way that they would care for their own well-being, since wives are such an integral part of their husbands’ life, he is actually loving himself when he does this

* A woman should feel safe physically (that she will not be abused), emotionally (that she will not be abused or neglected), and sexually (that she will not be abused or manipulated)

            – Protecting her – physically and emotionally

* A wife that does not feel safe physically and emotionally will shrink emotionally, and be very guarded/defensive

* A man should not ignore his wife’s need for conversation and quality time together – he should not do all of his talking at work and then when he gets home not feel much like talking to his wife – he is cheating her out of what is rightfully her conversation and quality time

            – Respecting her – treat her like a lady

* A man should never verbally insult his wife to make himself look better (being funny), this is not Christ-like, and it really hurts the emotional bond between the couple – whether she admits it or not! 

–> see Ephesians 4:29; also a man should never threaten his wife with divorce, this will harm the emotional bond that the couple has, because this brings insecurity – manipulation is not to be a part of a marriage!  –> see 1 Cor 7:10-13

* A man should respect his wife sexually – not making her do things that she is uncomfortable with (since there is so much pornography in our world, many times women are expected to perform in ways that are beyond their ability physically and morally!)  Women are not sex-objects!  Regardless of what culture, media, and our sin says.  Another aspect of marriage is so that men and women will not commit sexual sin –> 1 Cor 7:2

* A man should not treat his wife like a household servant – when he does this, his kids (most likely sons) will not respect their mother or women in general

 [1 Peter 3:7]1) Being considerate and respectful toward his wife

            – They are weaker physically

                        * A husband should be considerate of this reality

            – They are co-heirs in heaven

* A husband should be considerate and respectful because in God’s eyes they are on equal footing someday in heaven when it comes to privilege and reward through the gospel

            – If you neglect these things – your relationship with God will suffer –> your prayers will be hindered

* Husbands are to: protect, respect, help, and stay with their wives.  A man who does this will be sensitive to his wife’s needs and will be courteous, considerate, sensitive, and tactful toward his wife.


– Tonight we have explored A Husband’s Relationship to his Wife in this 4th message in the series “Extreme Makeover Home Edition.”  We have seen that a husband has many responsibilities toward his wife and ultimately his family as the spiritual leader of the family.  A man needs to be totally submitted to God so that he will love his wife self-sacrificially, protect her, provide for her, and respect her. 

– The husband has a special role in the marriage relationship.  He is the spiritual leader, so he is to set the tone spiritually in the marriage and the family.  If a husband is not living for God it will affect his whole family negatively!

– Come back next Sunday morning because we will explore the 5th message in the series “Extreme Makeover Home Edition” A Wife’s Relationship to her Husband. 


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