Extreme Makeover Home EditionMarriage: Avoiding the Damaging Effects of AdulteryMessage #10Intro:– Last Sunday night we looked at the 2nd half of the message “An Ungodly Man/Husband” which was message #9 in our series Extreme Makeover Home Edition. After our message this morning there is only one more message in the section on marriage. After completing this section we will go on to look at the area of “parenting” in our series Extreme Makeover Home Edition. We saw that there were 5 Destructive Behaviors to Avoid. Here is a review of them: 1) A bad temper 2) Foolishness 3) A slanderer and a gossiper 4) Laziness5) Not home class=Section2> – This morning we are going to look at message #10 in our series Extreme Makeover Home Edition – Marriage: Avoiding the Damaging Effects of Adultery. – In our culture today adultery is not seen as a shameful thing anymore. It is seen as something that is almost a necessity in the eyes of people in the world to be able to sustain a marriage. This is absolutely ridiculous! In fact in the majority of the cases (without God’s help) it is the end of the marriage. The reason for this is that the trust that was once there is now greatly damaged.– This morning we want to study God’s Word and see what wisdom God gives us that will help us to avoid becoming involved in this dangerous and damaging sin. God’s Word will give us the insight we need to avoid the damaging effects of adultery. 1) Receive satisfaction from your spouse alone (15)– The well = your wife, the Bible is saying that you should receive romantic and sexual love from only your spouse* “A garden locked is my sister, my bride, A rock garden locked, a spring sealed up. “You are a garden spring, A well of fresh water, And streams flowing from Lebanon.” Song 4:12,15* “Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house, your children like olive plants around your table.” Psalm 128:3* “The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Cor 7:3-5* “Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in public, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for class=Section3> yourselves. Don’t share it with strangers.” Prov 5:15-17 NLT 2) Only the two of you are to be involved romantically (16)– The Bible is saying here that when a husband becomes involved in adultery (sexually immoral behavior) that it is very likely that his wife will do the same in retaliation, therefore the man should not become involved in adultery so that his wife will not be tempted to do the same; should your wife be involved with other people? The answer is: NO* “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.” 1 Cor 6:15-16* “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” 1 Cor 6:18-20 3) You are not to share your spouse with anyone (17)– The springs = your wife, the Bible is saying that you are not to share yourself or your spouse with other people * “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Heb 13:4* “So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.” 1 Cor 7:38* “men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.” 1 Tim 4:3* “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals,” 1 Cor 6:9* “Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Gal 5:19,21* “and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you.” 1 Thess 4:6class=Section4> 4) Seek to strengthen and build your marriage (18)– The fountain = your wife; let her be blessed, rejoice/be in love/be happy/be satisfied with her; the wife of your youth – you chose her when you were young, you have been with her that long, remember the love and devotion; remember those times when all you could do was think about your spouse in a loving way * “Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.” Eccl 9:9* “”Yet you say, `For what reason?’ Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. “But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.” Malachi 2:14-15* “Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers. Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose— don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!” Prov 5:18-19 The Message 5) Be romantically involved with your spouse (19)– Hind/doe = your wife – maybe because of the delicate beauty of the animal; let her breasts (literally, and the romantic embrace) satisfy you at all times – hers, no one else’s, you shouldn’t be that close to anyone else in physical proximity or in intimacy; be excited, intoxicated, captivated with her* “My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, he is standing behind our wall, He is looking through the windows, He is peering through the lattice.” Song 2:9* “How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine, And the fragrance of your oils Than all kinds of spices!” Song 4:10* “And your mouth like the best wine!” “It goes down smoothly for my beloved, Flowing gently through the lips of those who fall asleep.” Song 7:9 6) No romantic involvement with another person (20) **** START HERE ****– This question is the result of the knowledge of the sheer joy that is found within a godly marriage and the utter ruin (v 14) that is found when someone strays outside of it, so why would you commit adultery knowing this information? class=Section5> * “For as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, “Eat and drink!” But his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the morsel you have eaten, and waste your compliments.” Prov 23:27-28 * “For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; “I was almost in utter ruin In the midst of the assembly and congregation.” Prov 5:3,14* “To deliver you from the strange woman, from the adulteress who flatters with her words;” Prov 2:16* “Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? For dalliance with a promiscuous stranger?” Prov 5:20 The Message 7) God sees and knows what goes on (21)– Don’t think that you will sin and get away with it, God will know, and He will punish your sinful actions* “For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.” Eccl 12:14* “I said to myself, “God will judge both the righteous man and the wicked man,” for a time for every matter and for every deed is there.” Eccl 3:17* “For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. you have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars.” 2 Chron 16:9* “Does He not see my ways and number all my steps?” Job 31:4 * “For His eyes are upon the ways of a man, And He sees all his steps.” Job 34:21* “The LORD is in His holy temple; the LORD’S throne is in heaven; His eyes behold, His eyelids test the sons of men.” Ps 11:4* “I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.” Jer 17:10* “Can a man hide himself in hiding places so I do not see him?” declares the LORD. “Do I not fill the heavens and the earth?” declares the LORD.” Jer 23:24* “And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.” Heb 4:13 class=Section6> 8) Sin is a trap (22) – The evil things will take hold of him, he will be trapped* “But they lie in wait for their own blood; They ambush their own lives.” Prov 1:18 * “”The graven images of their gods you are to burn with fire; you shall not covet the silver or the gold that is on them, nor take it for yourselves, or you will be snared by it, for it is an abomination to the LORD your God.” Deut 7:25* “beware that you are not ensnared to follow them, after they are destroyed before you, and that you do not inquire after their gods, saying, `How do these nations serve their gods, that I also may do likewise?’” Deut 12:30
* “And I discovered more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, whose hands are chains. One who is pleasing to God will escape from her, but the sinner will be captured by her.” Eccl 7:26
* “”And if they are bound in fetters, And are caught in the cords of affliction,” Job 36:8* “And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” Eccl 4:12* “Woe to those who drag iniquity with the cords of falsehood, And sin as if with cart ropes;” Isa 5:18 9) Sexual sin brings serious consequences (23)– Someone who does these wrong things and continues in them will pay great consequences* “Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the LORD. “They would not accept my counsel, they spurned all my reproof. “So they shall eat of the fruit of their own way and be satiated with their own devices. “For the waywardness of the naive will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them.” Prov 1:29-32* “With her many persuasions she entices him; with her flattering lips she seduces him. Suddenly he follows her As an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, Until an arrow pierces through his liver; As a bird hastens to the snare, So he does not know that it will cost him his life. class=Section7> Now therefore, my sons, listen to me, and pay attention to the words of my mouth. Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths.” Prov 7:21-25 class=Section8> * “But if they do not hear, they shall perish by the sword and they will die without knowledge.” Job 36:12* “The lips of the righteous feed many, But fools die for lack of understanding.” Prov 10:21* “The wicked is thrust down by his wrongdoing, but the righteous has a refuge when he dies.” Prov 14:32* “But if they do not hear, they shall perish by the sword and they will die without knowledge.” Job 36:12 * “The backslider in heart will have his fill of his own ways, but a good man will be satisfied with his.” Prov 14:14* “”So I gave them over to the stubbornness of their heart, to walk in their own devices.” Ps 81:12* “Mark well that God doesn’t miss a move you make; he’s aware of every step you take. The shadow of your sin will overtake you; you’ll find yourself stumbling all over yourself in the dark. Death is the reward of an undisciplined life; your foolish decisions trap you in a dead end.” Proverbs 5:21-23 The Message* “For the Lord sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes an evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his incredible folly.” Prov 5:21-23 NLT Conclusion:– This morning in looking at God’s Word for wisdom to help us to avoid the damaging effects of adultery we found 9 tools that we can walk away with to help us to not becoming involved in this dangerous and damaging sin. Those tools were: 1) Receive satisfaction from your spouse alone 2) Only the two of you are to be involved romantically 3) You are not to share your spouse with anyone 4) Seek to strengthen and build your marriage 5) Be romantically involved with your spouse 6) No romantic involvement with another person 7) God sees and knows what goes on 8) Sin is a trap 9) Sexual sin brings serious consequences– These 9 Tools from God’s Word will help us to be able to put into place practices that will help to strengthen our marriages, and help us to avoid compromising situations. We must make sure that we are not allowing ourselves to be in situations that would be a temptation for us to sin. Those are things that we must take the proper precautions to avoid.– Come back next Sunday morning as we take a look at the final message in our marriage section of the series Extreme Makeover Home Edition – Love in a Marriage.